I received this email today which I thought was rather funny – and very true!

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary

*8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!*
*9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!*
*9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!*
*10:30am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!*
*12:00pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!*
*1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!*
*3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!*
*5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!*
*7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!*
*8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! *
*11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!*

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary

*Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.*

*Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.*

*Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…*

I have had cats all my life until moving in with my wife as those of you who know will know that we have birds. This meant cats and birds don’t go together so I haven’t had a cat for a while now. I have always loved cats as they are far less ‘maintenance’ than dogs because they obviously look after themselves.

Also there is all the washing the dog, taking it for walk and all that which I just couldn’t cope with. However over the last few weeks I have to confess that I have ventured over the dark side (sorry to all dog owners!) and have been very close to two dogs, which have gone a long way to changing my mind about them.

The two dogs in question are a chocolate Labrador named Rusty and a Labrador called Josh. These dogs are the sweetest things ever. Rusty is about 18 months old and Joshua about 7 months. They are so energetic and it is amazing how much like children they are. Today we went walking in the local park with Rusty. He just couldn’t wait to get the lead off and run around the park after the ball that we were throwing for him. Just like a little child really. It was great to see all that energy and if only us humans could be satisfied by the simplest things. All Rusty wanted was a ball, food, water and his bed and he was happy as Larry (whoever he is!).

Cats on the other hand are a little more chilled out about life. Sleeping, eating and drinking is all they are interested in. They are not bothered about chasing after balls or toys. All the cats that we have ever had have been very calm and collected. Sophie the cat just loves sitting in her basket for about 22 hours a day.

I am not saying that I would now want to get a dog basically for the reasons outlined at the top of the article, but I think I have come to appreciate why there are so many dog lovers in this country.